Season Seven: The REALLY Alternitive Ending
by TwilightWolf
Summary: Trust us, Carter isn't telling you the Truth. Here's what really happend...... (spoof alert people!)


To Our Beloved Readers, Upon Whom So Much Depends:  
I would like to point out, right off the bat, that this is slightly screwed   
up. It was written as a 'what the hell shall we do now' fic, on a Sunday   
afternoon, no less. And it IS an odd form to put it in, and further more,   
we had great fun doing it. So there.  
  
This is an AU fic, where we mostly scrapped Mr. Carter's ideas and came up   
with....well, this. All three of our friend's are a little ( a LOT ) OCC.   
Not that you'd notice with Mulder.  
  
Before we get to our actual...er...story, I would like to thank my talented   
co-author. She did a wonderful job ( like she always does ) Hands up for   
Season Five Girl!!!!  
  
Disclaimer: They ain't ours and the bunny idea was Season Five Girl's.   
I, er....elaborated on it a bit.  
  
Note to you all: Insert this in place of the season 7 last eposide.  
  
Once upon a time there were two ghost bunnies. Now these weren't just any   
ghost bunnies, they were...umm...Special Agent ghost bunnies with   
the FBBI(Federal Bunnies Bureau of Investigation).   
  
Scully: Mulder, that's not the story at all!  
  
Mulder: Fine! You tell it your way.  
  
Scully: Well one day Mulder got another crackpot idea about white rabbits........  
  
Skinner: Look, will you two just make your report?  
  
Mulder: I would sir, but I think Agent *Scully* and myself might not agree   
on all the facts of this case.  
  
Scully rolls her eyes.  
  
Skinner: Try.  
  
Mulder: Right, right. Jeez, try to be a little creative.......  
  
Scully and Skinner look at him.  
  
Mulder: Now white rabbits are always the ones people pull out of hats, right?  
  
No one nods.  
  
Mulder: But where do they come from? It obvious!  
  
Scully puts her head in her hands.  
  
Mulder: The rabbits are either from another dimension or they are aliens   
that can take different shapes. Their accomplices hide them in hats. Then   
during the show, they pull them out and let them loose on an unsuspecting   
world.  
  
Skinner froze.  
  
Skinner: What?  
  
Mulder: Well...I'm not saying this has to be the case with *all white rabbits...  
just the vast majority.  
  
Skinner: And next you'll be telling me that Alice In Wonderland has some   
basis in reality?  
  
Scully looked nervously sideways and Mulder smiled smugly.  
  
Skinner looked questioningly at them both.  
  
Skinner: What are you two trying to tell me...?  
  
Scully: Well sir...I suppose that Mulder neglected to tell you his other   
uh...theory.  
  
Mulder: It ties in with the second one. The normal white rabbits, the ones   
from Earth, found out that they were getting a bad name from the aliens. It   
came to the point where people were beginning to avoid them. So they formed   
the FBBI. White rabbit agents were everywhere. But as time passed and no one   
sighted an alien, the scare began to fall off. Very few of the rabbits   
believed that they were still being invaded. All except two of them.  
  
Skinner raised an eyebrow. Scully looked as if she was trying to vanish   
somehow, so she would no longer be forced to bare witness to this   
unconventional...discussion.  
  
Skinner: Please do continue Agent Mulder.  
  
Mulder: Thank you sir. The two rabbits had both been involved with the FBBI,   
they had worked together for several years and were seemingly fairly famous   
around the FBBI.   
  
Skinner glanced from Mulder back to Scully, and then back to Mulder once   
again as he continued.  
  
Mulder cleared his throat: The two rabbits took it upon themselves to keep a   
watch for the invading rabbits. Unfortunately their superiors found it hard   
to believe-and even harder to fund.  
  
Scully noted the inflection Mulder put into his last words.  
  
Mulder: Finally, on the eve of the destruction of all they had worked for in   
the FBBI, tragedy struck. 15 white rabbits were found dead. An alien,   
traitor to his superiors, contacted the heads of the FBBI. His information   
was this: With things getting so risky the aliens were beginning to kill off   
white rabbits and take their places. They may have even infiltrated the BG,   
the Bunny Government. Our two Bunny Agents couldn't risk telling their   
superiors what they were about to do because they had no way of telling if   
the other Agents in the FBBI could still be trusted....if they ever could.   
  
Mulder trailed off, adding some much needed suspense.  
  
Skinner: And what were they about to do Agent Mulder?  
  
By now Scully had zoned out and was studying her nails. Maybe she should   
have went with the red polish.  
  
Mulder: They were going to put a stop to the invasion. One way or another.   
And so they took the next flight to Oregon, where the largest group of Alien   
Bunnies was gathering. But once they got there the track began to run cold...  
it took nearly 2 days before they got another clue. A sighting.  
  
Skinner: A sighting?  
  
Scully: A sighting.  
  
Skinner: What sort of 'sighting'?  
  
Scully pursed her lips: Well sir...a (she snickered)...a UFO sighting sir.  
  
Mulder corrected: A Bunny UFO sir.  
  
Skinner: Agent Mulder, what exactly is this leading up to?  
  
Mulder: It's a little complicated sir.  
  
Skinner: Agent Scully, what is he leading up to?   
  
Scully leaned forward.  
Scully: Sir, tell me, do you really want to know? I mean REALLY?  
  
Mulder: Of course he does. You see, all of the aliens had set up a trap.   
Weeks before, victims had been marked out and that night a day after the UFO   
sighting they were lured to a landing sight. The plot was, when all the real   
rabbits had gathered, load them onto the UFO and replace them with aliens in   
rabbit shape. This way, no one would notice a sudden influx or decrease of   
white rabbits. It would be almost unnoticeable, until the chaos started.  
But something went wrong somewhere in the plan...the real white   
rabbits-for the most-didn't show. The ones that did were taken,   
and replaced.  
  
Skinner: And this is why you want the FBI to fund your new trip to Oregon   
Agent Mulder?  
  
Scully winced at the tone in Skinner's voice.   
  
Mulder nodded, he looked overly confident Scully thought.  
  
Mulder: Well...there's a lot more to it then just that sir..should I go on?  
  
Skinner held up a hand: I don't think I need to hear anymore Agent Mulder.  
  
Mulder: So the FBI will fund the trip?  
  
Skinner paused.  
  
Scully: Sir, may I point out that we were acting in the best interest of the   
Bureau.....  
She trailed off at the look on Skinner's face.  
  
Skinner: Agents, tell me, is there a chance that once, ONCE, you might have   
some proof? Rabbit fur gloves maybe? Or a party wizard claiming all of his   
rabbits have run mad and he doesn't think that they're really his rabbits   
anyway?  
  
Scully: Mulder thought that it might not be such a good idea speaking with   
the magicians,...considering they might be part of the conspiracy as well...  
uh...sir.  
  
Mulder nodded in complete agreement with Scully, seemingly unaware(or   
choosing to ignore) the daggers his supervisor was currently shooting at him.  
  
Mulder: But sir, I can assure you that once the Bureau funds our trip, we   
will absolutely question some of the local wizards.  
  
Skinner said sarcastically: Thank you for the comfort Agent Mulder, I'm sure   
the Board of Directors will be relieved.  
  
Scully studied her nails again. Maybe she should have gone with the French   
Manicure.  
  
Mulder stood up.  
Mulder: Well, if that's all sir....?  
  
Skinner had a look on his face that said he would be doing some drinking   
tonight.  
Skinner: Yes, yes. I'll let you know about the Board's decision.   
  
The two agents left rather quickly.  
Mulder: Well, that went well.  
  
Scully raised her eyebrows.  
Scully: Yeah, sure. See you on Monday, Mulder.  
She walked away with Mulder looking after her oddly.  
  
Mulder: Is she upset about something?  
  
  
  
Luckily, there was a salon not far from the FBI building. Scully decided to   
walk and pick up her car later. Just as she was about to enter, she noticed   
the pet store next to it. The pet store with the white rabbit in the window.  
Scully: What are the odds, huh?  
  
The rabbit hopped about as she continued on her way. Then it went over to   
the glass to look at the man walking pass.  
  
Mulder was thinking about how to get back his car, which the Bureau had   
impounded while they were in Oregon.  
He turned a corner and found himself face-to-face(albeit through the glass)   
with a white rabbit....Was it eyeing him? He paused for a moment and study it   
intently.  
  
Mulder: I'm on to you.  
  
He kept walking, wondering if he should get a dog.  
  
About five minutes later, Krycek left the pet shop, a cage containing a   
white rabbit under his arm.  



End file.
